A Date with the Lifestream
by CodPor
Summary: Floating in the darkness beneath the earth, Cloud recalls scenes from his past and begins to put his memories back together.


_A green blur. Familiar faces. Memories, surging up from my mind._

"Say, Cloud..." The flower girl, Aeris, gave him an innocent smile. "You ever been a bodyguard? Seeing as you're a jack of all trades, and all."

Cloud glanced at the front doors of the church. He figured there wasn't much chance she was just making conversation. Whoever these men were, they were here for Aeris, and she wanted a way out. "Yeah, that's right," he replied, keeping his gaze on the men in the doorway.

"Then, you wouldn't mind escorting me home, right?" Aeris casually took a few steps backward, being careful not to step on her flowers.

"No problem." The men in the doorway weren't advancing, but they watched him as intently as he watched them. "...as long as you can pay."

"Well, let's see... How about I go out with you? One date."

Cloud glanced at the girl. Was she serious? What kind of payment was that? Though, if she lived in the slums and got by selling flowers, she probably didn't have any money to spare. Maybe she did this kind of thing all the time. And he hadn't had a lot of downtime lately. It wouldn't be so bad, he thought, to go out on a date like a normal person.

_I know you... but I don't remember..._

_...wanted my help, but... it seemed like she was fine on her own._

"The Turks, huh?" Aeris asked, still panting from the climb.

Cloud looked down from the roof of the church, watching as Reno of the Turks and his Security Division lackeys exited. "The Turks are an organization in Shinra," he explained. "They scout potential candidates for SOLDIER."

Aeris looked incredulous. "That's how they recruit SOLDIERs? Seemed more like an attempted kidnapping."

"Recruitment is their public purpose. They also handle Shinra's dirty business on the side. Murders, espionage... that kind of thing." Cloud was a little surprised how nonchalant he sounded.

"They look like the type."

"Why are they after you, though? Any reason you can think of?"

"Nothing comes to mind..." She steadied herself on the roof and put her hands on her hips. "Maybe they think I have what it takes to be in SOLDIER!" She smiled.

Cloud thought about it. When she was seperated from him while fleeing, she managed to get away from Reno and find another way up to the roof. And despite her weak appearance, she could fight surprisingly well. "Maybe you do. You interested in joining?"

Aeris seemed to be caught off guard by his assessment. She looked away. "Well, I don't know... But I don't want to go with those guys."

Cloud looked out across the slums. If they went across the rooftops, it would make it more difficult for their pursuers to track them. "All right, then let's go!" He jumped to a nearby roof and gestured for Aeris to follow, then continued jumping from roof to roof until he reached the last house in the row.

"Wait!"

Looking back, he saw Aeris struggling to catch up. She stopped at the edge of each roof, making a visible effort on each jump. As she approached, she seemed exhausted. Maybe he had overestimated her. She was just an ordinary girl, after all. And he had to get this ordinary girl back to her ordinary home so she could have an ordinary date with her not-so-ordinary bodyguard.

Somehow, the idea seemed less appealing every time he thought about it.

_She saw... something in my eyes..._

_(A strange glow.)_

_Mako. She asked if I was in SOLDIER. Was I? Why can't I remember?_

"Is Tifa... a girl?"

"Yeah." He thought about where Tifa might be at that moment. He shouldn't be worried, he told himself. Tifa was strong, and Barret would watch her back. Those two seemed unstoppable together.

"A girl...friend?"

Cloud quickly answered "No way!" It was a little embarassing to realize he had never even thought of that possibility. He and Tifa had been friends as long as he could remember, and he had never thought of her that way. Besides, he thought, wasn't she with Barret now?

"That's all right, then."

_Where... am I? What's going on?_

_Is anyone out there? Tifa? Barret? ...Aeris?_

_No... Aeris was..._

He lowered his sword and looked into her eyes. She smiled, like nothing was wrong. Then he saw it. By the time he recognized the figure falling through the air, it was too late to stop him. Sephiroth's...

_(Not yet.)_

_I feel myself spinning. The green glow is barely visible anymore in the darkness._

_Who are you? What's happening to me?_

She was giggling. Leaning over to him, she whispered "Cloud, why don't you dress up as a girl? It's the only way you'll get in there to talk to Tifa."

Cloud was aghast. She had to be joking. Of course, he knew the reputation the Wall Market had, but he wasn't that type of guy.

"Just wait," Aeris said to the doorman. "I'll bring a cute friend with me." She grabbed Cloud's hand and dragged him back toward the shops, ignoring his protests.

_I don't want to think about that._

_(Take it slow. You have to remember.)_

_She was... too close..._

"Aren't you going to change?" Aeris asked from the other side of the curtain.

"Y-yeah..." He looked at the dress and wig in his hands, then at his face in the mirror. He hated his face. It was too feminine for a man. It had gotten him mocked as a child. When he decided to get strong to try and join SOLDIER, he thought he would start to look tougher. Looking in that mirror, he saw the same girlish face as always. And now he was supposed to dress like a girl, too?

He looked at the dress again and sighed. He had told himself he would never do this.

_I hated wearing that getup. And, after all that, she got picked anyway. Tifa and I had to rescue her._

_She was such a... burden..._

_Was that all? Something else..._

"Cloud, I need to ask you something."

For a few seconds, Cloud just stared at the stars. Camped around their buggy, most of the team had already gone to sleep. He and Aeris were probably the only ones still awake. Realizing it would be silly to ignore her, he sat up.

Aeris's face told him she wanted something. He felt annoyed. Ever since they left Midgar, Cloud and his party had been looking after the girl. Attempting to preempt her request, he told her "We're not making any more detours. If there's somewhere you wanna go, you can go on your own time."

"It's not that!" Aeris replied, an edge of anger in her voice. "I wanted to ask you... to let me fight."

"Fight?" Cloud sighed. "Aeris, this is serious."

"I'm being serious! I can't just stand and watch while the rest of you do everything for me!"

"We're prepared for this kind of thing. Tifa, Barret, Red... we're fighters. This isn't like fending off monsters in the slums."

Aeris was looking more and more distressed. "I know that! I can fight, I know I can. Just give me a chance. Please, Cloud."

Cloud looked at her face. She had dropped any attempt to be cute before the conversation had even started. She was trying so hard to look ready, but it wasn't working. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She looked more helpless than he'd ever seen her. "The answer is no, Aeris."

_Why am I remembering this? What's the point of it all?_

_Am I dead? ...I'm in the lifestream._

_The mako caught up with me. I'm dying...?_

_(The play isn't over yet.)_

_That voice... It's not him... But who is 'he'?_

_And who are you?_

_Hello?_

_I see... lights..._

_(It's beautiful, isn't it?)_

_What?_

"Look, Cloud. It's so pretty."

Colorful bursts of light exploded in the night sky, shooting up from the brightly-lit amusement park. Cloud glanced out the window for a few seconds, then went back to staring at his feet. Something felt wrong. He had noticed it as they were leaving the hotel, and it just seemed to get stronger as the date went on.

He tried to deny it. He tried to tell himself he wanted this. It was futile. The question kept returning to his mind. Why did it have to be her? Much as he tried to pretend, the 'ordinary' date wasn't what he really wanted. It was just a way to hide from the truth, a way to blend in, to be what he had never been: normal.

Even so, he hadn't turned her down. He hadn't pursued the one he really wanted. He was too afraid of what might happen. He rationalized it, hid from it, and pretended it wasn't there. And this was the result.

He looked at her. She was staring through him. It dawned on him that she wasn't smiling anymore.

"It bothered me, how much alike you look. You move just like him," she said, almost too quiet to hear over the noise outside. "The way you walk, the way you gesture..."

She was remembering someone else. Her words came out like an apology. With a little shame, Cloud noticed that this brightened his mood considerably. She was doing the same thing he was; trying to hide from her true feelings.

When they stepped off the ferris wheel, Cloud felt like he finally understood the girl who had been following him for so long. Undoing the tension that had been building over the course of their travels, they were taking the first step toward becoming friends.

_She's dead._

_...You're dead, Aeris._

_What does it matter? You ran off because I wouldn't let you fight, and because of that..._

_It doesn't matter anymore. It hurts to think about you. It's my fault._

_...Aeris?_

_(It sure is raining hard.)_

_What? That voice..._

The spiky-haired SOLDIER stood between the benches - actually crates being used as seating - of the Shinra transport truck. Despite the bumpy ride, he seemed perfectly comfortable on his feet, never losing his balance.

Two Shinra Security grunts sat on one side of the truck; on the other, the hero Sephiroth sat alone. The standing SOLDIER approached one of the guards, who wasn't handling the trip with much grace. The young man looked up wearily, nausea apparent from his expression, even with his eyes hidden under the helmet.

"How you holdin' up?" the SOLDIER asked.

The guard waved him away. "Don't worry about me." He lowered his head again, groaning despite himself.

"I guess I'm lucky," the SOLDIER said, showing little concern for the guard's state. "I've never had to deal with motion sickness. Must be rough."

_"You have no idea,"_ the guard thought. His stomach was churning like a stormy ocean, but he wouldn't give up. _"Just gotta tough it out,"_ he told himself.

_That guard... Why am I remembering that?_

_I feel so weird. Like I'm spinning through space. Sick..._

_I feel sick. That's right... I never tell anyone, but I have trouble with motion sickness. Then why...?_

_And... I remembered the guard's thoughts, too._

_Why...?_

_(Can't wait to try 'em out.)_

_What's that?_

"That would be our monster. Come on." Sephiroth opened the door at the back of the truck and rounded the corner to face the monster that blocked their way. Cloud followed him, stopping when he saw the large dragon Sephiroth faced.

Sephiroth did not hesitate. He attacked the monster calmly and smoothly, each swing cutting through the dragon's hide like it was air. Cloud watched the graceful swordsman with a sense of wonder. Every step, every swing, every motion was as beautiful as a dance, as flawless as the warrior himself.

Cloud was still feeling unsteady from the ride, but he wasn't really needed for this. Sephiroth had cut the beast down with only a few strikes.

"He's quite a fighter. Even for a SOLDIER, he's impressive."

Cloud turned to see the other SOLDIER standing beside him, watching Sephiroth with less awe. He was always so confident, even when Sephiroth was showing off. It was something Cloud admired in the man, even more than his strength. He was so comfortable with himself, so natural, while Cloud was so awkward.

Sephiroth climbed back into the transport without a word. The other man shrugged and smiled, and the two of them followed.

_Another SOLDIER... that's right. He was my commander. I always looked up to him._

_Until..._

_Until I... went to Midgar. I ran into Tifa again, and started working with her and Barret._

_Barret... maybe that's why I expected so much of him. He did remind me of... that man..._

_(Can you remember?)_

_He was so headstrong, so courageous. He got us into trouble, but he never gave up. I guess I saw something I liked._

_(She saw it in you, too.)_

_Aeris? No... you're..._

_It's you... why can't I remember your face? Your name?_

_Tell me. What do I need to do? I'm still so lost._

_Someone... I see someone in the distance... Tifa...?_

_Is anyone there?  
_

_Come back!_

_I still need your help!_

_Come back, please! ...They're gone. Who..._

_I... I can't remember...  
_

_Where am I...? Who am I...?_

_Someone's coming closer..._

_Please, help me..._

* * *

Some time later...

Cloud awoke to the sight of the Meteor hanging in the sky. For a moment, he felt like he was floating, until he realized he was being carried. Vincent had him draped across his arms. When he noticed Cloud was awake, he turned and passed the news to Barret. Cloud looked, and saw Barret carrying Tifa out of the water.

Looking at the man holding him, he said "I'm all right, Vince. I think I can stand on my own now."

Vincent took the cue and set him down. Cloud stood up on shaky legs and went to Barret's side. Barret was setting Tifa down in the sand.

"Is she-" Cloud started.

"She's breathing jes' fine," Barret said, looking worried, "but you two were down there for a while. You think she'll wake up?"

Cloud nodded. "No doubt about it. It's cause of her we even got out of there alive."

"That so..." Barret crossed his arms, grinning in spite of himself. "I thought it was just luck. Guess I don't give you two enough credit."

Cloud blushed and smiled at the compliment.

"Aw, don't you go gettin' all proud about it!" Barret shouted. "You still a spiky-headed punk."

Still smiling, Cloud left Barret to look after Tifa and began walking back toward the airship. He wanted to rest and gather his thoughts before Tifa woke up again. He had a lot he needed to say, and their team still had a lot to do.

He could almost hear a familiar voice, encouraging him to keep going. But when he closed his eyes and listened, there was no one there.

Only his own thoughts.


End file.
